The Billy Mays pitch I didn’t know I’ve always wanted to give

billy mays

 

Wow! The inaugural post has finally become a reality! WordPress has kindly informed me, through a flurry of automated and overbearing emails that the inaugural post should be an explanation about how I came to found this blog, my own personal aspirations, the color of my house key, social-security number and….. yadda, yadda, yadda. Reflecting on the life and times of one of my advertising heroes Billy Mays (peace be upon his name), I figured that I would just give a high-octane pitch that fizzles out very quickly, but still leaves you intrigued enough to wonder if the thing I’m selling is actually worth investing in . AHEM!….

HI! Kevin Söze here with The Ol’ Catholic Try!

Do you have tons of opinions about how to live a good Catholic life, pop-culture, or the current state of the Catholic Union, recognize that you are woefully under-qualified to really discuss any said opinions, but inevitably will discuss them anyway? Me too. Welcome. Come and give it The Ol’ Catholic Try.

Do you have days where you spend more time thinking about praying the rosary in your pocket/hanging from your rear-view than ACTUALLY praying the rosary in your pocket/hanging from your rear-view? Go pray it, read this blog, and continue to give it The Ol’ Catholic Try.

Are you striving to live a good and holy Catholic life, failing miserably, but by the mercy of God are motivated to not let your failure become an excuse for you to stop growing in union with God? Give the Devil Hell! Give God The Ol’ Catholic Try.

Are you currently waiting in line at Walmart to check out, and there’s only like, 2/30 registers open, and GOD FORBID they hire someone quick but instead they hired a 74 year old named Reggie (God bless him. People gotta eat) who takes about 5 minutes a person in a 6-person build-up. Now you’ve been in line as long as it took you to gather your items, so you’re mad, but you just went to confession not two days ago and know you should offer it up. But you don’t want to because you worked an 8-hour shift and the season finale of GOT is going to start in a couple of hours, making you more antsy because FREAKING BRIAN AND MIKE ARE ON SOME NEXT-LEVEL FAN THEORIES THAT YOU KNOW THEY WANT YOU TO PARTICIPATE IN, AND WILL RUIN IF YOU ARE NOT ON THEIR LEVEL, AND YOU ARE A WEEK BEHIND, WHICH IS CAUSING YOU TO REALLY THINK ABOUT MAKING A SCENE BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE FEELING THIS WAY, SO YOU pull out your phone to distract yourself as an attempt at a holy compromise, browsing through something that’s not the trashiest thing you could read, and which might on occasion give your soul food for thought?…I know your pain (If you’re a Grammar Nazi, the last paragraph probably caused you more).

Welcome! In this moment I thank the Holy Ghost for inspiring you to read and give your spiritual life The Ol’ Catholic Try.

 

 

 

Author: Ambrose Söze

Ambrose Söze teaches Philosophy and Theology at the Seraphicum in Houston Texas.

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